Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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