I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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