I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why do cheetos always look like penises
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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