I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
this is an emotional support booty call
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think my moral compass just broke
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
