She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
