Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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