don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
