I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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