That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
