why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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