I want to walk on stilts...naked
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
