im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
