It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just high enough for therapy.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
