there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
