some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
