I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I just sharted jello shots
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
