NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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