angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
