i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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