idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
