She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize