The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
