I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize