I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
