Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize