i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize