Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
