Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
