he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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