We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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