I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
