he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
