I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize