i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
