I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
