Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
