just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
