erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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