it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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