i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
