we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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