if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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