eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize