I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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