When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
