sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
