dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
