glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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