i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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