And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His hands were made for my vagina.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
