How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
