he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
