their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
