Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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