you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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