last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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