i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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