so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am spending my child support on dildos
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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