Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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