at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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