the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
