In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Randomize
