just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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