omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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