Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize