I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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