This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
White coat. Heels.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
